2/2/25
On Nirvana and Zen... And I. Well, as real as any "I" can be...
Why Not Nirvana?
I’m a lucky boy for sure. This life is something that i love to live. Sometimes I bow my head because the ups and downs… but I'm getting so much better at balancing things. Now I can maintain my resilience without having to be pushed first. because I never back down. When presented with opposition, I'm more like a warrior. But when I let my mind hijack my mind… or when I let the illusions we call thoughts enter my body, they disconnect my internal connection… And that's when things get messed up.
last night when i was a little high, or a lot high, but not too high, i realized I've ran so many mental models. At this point, i know there's no reason to be attached to any idea. No reason to block myself from nirvana with an attachment to concepts. i don’t have to go through the thoughts, and the thinking i know won't get me anywhere. all i have to do is relax my body. that's it. Life is shown by relaxing and connecting to the body. There's no need to think at this point. What thought have i not had? What questions have i not asked? As long as i’m able to relax my body and connect to my body and breath, that is nirvana.
The Zen Being
what is the state of zen? we know that zen is a state of being first and foremost, just like anything in this world that truly makes sense. Anything that isn't a state of being is a state of thinking and therefore is an illusion. nothing matters but the state of being you inhabit in the present. That's the truth of who you are. we disconnect from truth because we tie our being to ideas and ideas are as ephemeral as the wind blowing. the dust blowing in the wind really. The wind is closer to what it means to be alive than the dust we are made of… thr constant shift of ideas we confuse for who we are… what even is that? What are we even doing?